on this particular day ...

2 years.

i insisted to stay home to have dinner with my family - one of those very few days i insisted alex to get off work on time, because it's very important to me for the family to be together on this very day. no one talked about this topic, and it went by like any other day quietly, but i think we all know in our heart the importance of this day.

i was hoping someone would understand my feeling, but seems to me that every friend around me is asking me the same question of whether i've let go or not. that made me discouraged to share my real feeling to them, because i think i'm not being understood and agreed on how i am feeling, and no matter how many years has passed, it's still there and it's never "too long ago" for it to be forgotten, or felt less about. only the family knows how it feels ...

i thought about brenda ... i thought about ed ... and all these scenes of me saying goodbye to brenda everytime i left hong kong ...

how sad.